Today has been one of those days. All of my kids are suffering from post-Daylight Savings Time change lack of sleep. Their little sleep patters are completely shot and as such they are officially “sensitive.”
Today, Allyson and I went on a Daddy Date. Last night, she had requested one since I had been unable to really spend time with her while participating in the assessment over the past two days.
I asked her what she wanted to do on our Daddy Date, and she originally just said, “Whatever you want to do. I just want to spend time with you.” While I almost teared up, I explained to her that on a Daddy Date, we do what she wants to.
And so being my daughter, she opted for “the ice cream store.” I took her to Marble Slab and enjoyed massive quantities of ice cream together. We were able to talk and I was able to really spend some time completely focused on my little girl.
There’s one thing that I’m really starting to figure out: my time with my kids is limited. My oldest is already 7 and in first grade. My youngest – my baby – is 2. My princess is almost 5. My babies will only be babies for so long.
Because of that, I have to make the effort to enjoy them and spend time with them and not let everyday life get too distracting.
I’m not the best at this, but I’m trying and I’m learning. What do you do to spend time with your kids? What lessons have you learned that you could teach me?
Wednesday afternoon, I chose to spend some time at Austin Java. I ordered the javaccino (their frozen blended coffee) and sat down in the back. I opened up my laptop, grabbed my 1 year Bible and my Moleskin and just asked God to teach me.
Because of the move, I had fallen behind a bit in my daily readings, so I read out of 2 Chronicles. In the tenth chapter, something struck me. It wasn’t a new passage to me – I’ve studied it dozens of times – but God brought one specific verse to my attention.
At the end of Solomon’s reign, Israel was in turmoil. Would Rehoboam relent on the demands Solomon made on the people? They asked him. As a young politician should, rather than responding immediately, he asked for 3 days to seek advice.
The elders spoke: “If you will be a servant to this people, be considerate of their needs and respond with compassion, work things out with them, they’ll end up doing anything for you.” (2 Chronicles 10:7)
But then his younger leadership, his childhood friends, the OT version of The Entourage (you know, guys with no prior knowledge, but position because of the meteoric rise of their friend) spoke: These people who complain, ‘Your father was too hard on us; lighten up’—well, tell them this: ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. If you think life under my father was hard, you haven’t seen the half of it. My father thrashed you with whips; I’ll beat you bloody with chains!’” (2 Chronicles 10:11)
So whose advice did Rehoboam follow? The Entourage! And the result was that he split the kingdom of Israel into Israel in the north and Judah in the south.
But it was the advice of the elders that caught my attention. Here it is again: “If you will be a servant to this people, be considerate of their needs and respond with compassion, work things out with them, they’ll end up doing anything for you.” (2 Chronicles 10:7)
In ministry, it is way too easy to dismiss the needs of your team for the sake of the mission. It’s way too easy to neglect their care, the care of their families, the care of their spiritual growth, the care of their physical state for the sake of the mission.
I understand the need to cast vision. I understand the need to keep the mission in the front of your team’s mind. But, be very careful to remember the advice of the elders. People will follow the leader that takes care of them. The most certain way to run-off your help is to casually dismiss their needs for the sake of the mission. Take care of your team, and they will fulfill the mission better than you could ask for. Neglect your team, and you will be all alone trying to do the mission by yourself.
By the way, this can go even further to the home. Pastor, you can’t neglect your family and expect them to allow you the freedom to do the work you feel called to. You’d better meet their needs FIRST, or else you might go home late one night after another meeting and find no one there. And that does the Kingdom and the mission absolutely no good at all.
Today we celebrate Spoil-the-Wife Day at our house. Unfortunately and ashamedly, I have to admit that this does not occur every day (but I’m working on it!). This morning, I woke up with the kids and allowed her to sleep in until 9am. I didn’t wake her then! She awoke on her own.
After breakfast, I quickly went and worked out at the gym (which I desperately needed, but had NO desire to do so) before sending her to watch a movie with her mother and aunts. Apparently it’s some chick-flick that I had no desire to watch, so effectively, it’s a win-win. She gets to see a movie that I don’t want to, and I get to be the good guy.
I kept the kids at the house, making forts, watching Thomas the Tank Engine and Phineas and Ferb, playing Transformers, making lunch, and even getting the little one to take a nap!
My wife is incredible and puts up with more crap from me than she deserves to, so I don’t mind spoiling her at all. In fact, I kind of like it! She gets some time to relax and rejuvinate, and I get to spend some good time with the munchkins. Spoil-the-Wife Day is a fun day for the entire family.
We filmed this the day we put the bunkbeds in our sons’ room. The problem was, we couldn’t manage to help our kids understand the rules about why they weren’t supposed to jump.
Her perspective was a little different than her parents. We told her not to jump, but she just had to. Reminds me of a story in Genesis 3 about a tree, kind of.







